No use trying to fight it, you're an eight-sided die, a d8. A fine example of simple elegance, the d8 is one of the least appreciated types of dice, and is often neglected. You are known to be quiet and shy, outward traits that conceal viscous sarcasm and mean wit. You are very smart, yet wise enough to hide your intelligence the quicker they found out how smart you are, the sooner they'll put you to work, which is something you can do without. People call you dark and pessimistic, or moody and cynical. You find little point in arguing.
The irony of ME being called "deep, dark, and cynical" is just too much to pass up. It called for immediate postage. Cynical I can see, deep maybe, but dark? I don't know. The actual description thingy though is fun. So just remember, whenever I'm acting supremely stupid or having a blonde moment, I'm really just hiding my intelligence so that you don't put me to work. No wait, forget I said that... Darn.