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Apr. 25th, 2006 @ 04:00 pm will anyone actually take advantage of this?
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Date:May 23rd, 2006 11:08 pm (UTC)
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Aheh.. uh... so, I was writing the drabble below this one.. the Anakin and Ed one... and guilt popped to mind.. and... Well, blame alter!Ed for being easy to write for, dammit. I claim no more responsibility for this.

I spose you could say it fits in Alter!verse.. you know... if you want.


Guilt was a funny thing. Simple word, too. Just a tapping motion above the heart. Poetic. Or a single sound forced out through a throat too tight, like the kind you get when you've wanted to cry for a good long time but don't dare let yourself for fear you wouldn't stop.

Guilt can hold you back like a noose, or it can drive you to the ends of the earth like Io's fly, not giving you a moment to stop and catch your breath or think or do anything but try to get away from it, fix it, stop it.

Any means is justified. Any crime, any wrong couldn't possibly add any more to the guilt than a single raindrop could raise the level of a river. They have no meaning, no reason for you anymore. They are just a way to stop the guilt, right the original wrong. There is no good or evil beyond that driving need, that compulsion to undo what you did, to close and lock the doors you unwittingly found like the trapdoor in a funhouse.

Or a madhouse. You'd believe either.

You sometimes wonder if one day you'll wake up and this madhouse nightmare will be over and he'll... but no. You don't let yourself wonder beyond that, do you? Because that would be a dream, and you don't allow yourself dreams. You say it's because they'd only slow you down, but it's really because you don't deserve them. Because you took his.

Congratulations. Guilty as charged.
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Date:May 24th, 2006 08:24 pm (UTC)
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Maybe that means you should just give me more weird, random drabble requests in the future. Who knows, maybe someday I'll actually get a full fic out of one of these.