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Apr. 25th, 2006 @ 04:00 pm will anyone actually take advantage of this?
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Date:May 23rd, 2006 02:28 am (UTC)
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Here you go. It got away from me, so it is not a drabble. Oh well. I'm sure you'll be heartbroken about that.


The shudders were finally following the retching into stillness when the jacket landed on his shoulders. The unexpected warmth reminded his body that it was freezing and started up the shuddering again. He was sure if that helped his mood or made it worse.

The hand that landed firmly - was it with censure or support? he couldn't tell - on his shoulder confirmed his finder's identity.

"Fuck you, Mustang."

"You are not old enough, pretty enough, or, frankly, female enough for that, Fullmetal. Can you stand?"

"Is that an order, sir?" His only response was a hand held in front of his face. He considered it, checking carefully for any possible trickery and pondering the rough probability of his being able to make it to his feet on his own before taking the hand. "It's been a bad day."

There, that was almost an apology.

"I know. You did a good job, though."

If only it weren't a crime to attack your commanding officer. "A good job?! How many families lost a father today because of me?"

"That's true, Fullmetal. But-"

Oh, how he hated that look.

"-how many Amestran families still have fathers tonight because of you?"

He was in no mood for logic tonight. "Shut up, Mustang. I don't want to hear it... Not tonight."

"Ah yes, I suppose not."

A pair of hands on his shoulders turned him around and guided him back toward the almost-comforting camp lights. It didn't occur to him and wouldn't until much later that for all the lights to be lit, he must have been missing, sitting there retching on a battlefield where too many people his age had fought and died, for quite a while and that it might be a little unusual for the officer in charge of an entire forward camp to go looking for a single unaccounted for soldier.

He never meant for Mustang to hear when he muttered, "I don't know if I can do this much longer," but Mustang was known for being contrary.

"You won't have to." Equally quiet, whether a promise or a reminder, neither knew, but it was enough.
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Date:May 23rd, 2006 11:08 pm (UTC)
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Aheh.. uh... so, I was writing the drabble below this one.. the Anakin and Ed one... and guilt popped to mind.. and... Well, blame alter!Ed for being easy to write for, dammit. I claim no more responsibility for this.

I spose you could say it fits in Alter!verse.. you know... if you want.


Guilt was a funny thing. Simple word, too. Just a tapping motion above the heart. Poetic. Or a single sound forced out through a throat too tight, like the kind you get when you've wanted to cry for a good long time but don't dare let yourself for fear you wouldn't stop.

Guilt can hold you back like a noose, or it can drive you to the ends of the earth like Io's fly, not giving you a moment to stop and catch your breath or think or do anything but try to get away from it, fix it, stop it.

Any means is justified. Any crime, any wrong couldn't possibly add any more to the guilt than a single raindrop could raise the level of a river. They have no meaning, no reason for you anymore. They are just a way to stop the guilt, right the original wrong. There is no good or evil beyond that driving need, that compulsion to undo what you did, to close and lock the doors you unwittingly found like the trapdoor in a funhouse.

Or a madhouse. You'd believe either.

You sometimes wonder if one day you'll wake up and this madhouse nightmare will be over and he'll... but no. You don't let yourself wonder beyond that, do you? Because that would be a dream, and you don't allow yourself dreams. You say it's because they'd only slow you down, but it's really because you don't deserve them. Because you took his.

Congratulations. Guilty as charged.
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Date:May 24th, 2006 08:24 pm (UTC)
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Maybe that means you should just give me more weird, random drabble requests in the future. Who knows, maybe someday I'll actually get a full fic out of one of these.