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Jan. 23rd, 2005 @ 04:54 pm Help! I'm starting to believe the masses!
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Tags: ,
Okay, so, big surprise and stuff, I didn't get a call back. Yeah, I know, I was shocked too. The scariest part is, I'm beginning to not care. I mean, it used to hurt when I didn't get a call back but now it's becoming something of a status quo. Because, let's see, of the roughly eight auditions I've been in (note I'm only counting the ones with callbacks, ones without open a whole new can of worms) I've gotten exactly one callback. Granted, I got a part in that show, but it was -- and I quote the director here, folks -- because she wanted someone who had been in movement and stage makeup class. Yay, I got in on a technicality. Oh yeah, and did I mention that, because of the tight run schedule, there were only a very few actresses who COULD be called back because they weren't already in something else, and oh yeah, I was the only one who satisfied both those conditions. So whoop-de-do, I could have acted like shit and she would have cast me because I could make myself look like I was 80 years old. Great. Yes, I'm sure we've all had our share of whiny actors on tv and such by now, but let me tell all you non-existent viewers out there in TV land, I don't give a flying rat's ass right now, okay? No one even reads this thing, so what's the point of censoring myself? It'd be like bleeping out words in my mind. Not gonna happen. So I'm starting to get just a TEENSY bit unhappy with the fact that FRESHMEN and people who HAVE NEVER ACTED BEFORE are getting parts ahead of me. And you know what, I know they're probably better than me, okay I admitted it, I suck as an actor. Fine. But the kicker of the whole problem is, I can't just give it up and walk away. You know why? Well neither do I. Stupidity runs in my family, I know, but I mean, come on. It's like the universe has decided that I'm the perfect subject for some perverse experiment or something. "how long until she goes on a killing spree?" I don't know.

Life is funny that way, sometimes, you know? Doesn't even pause at lemons, just skips straight to the steel wool.

On a slightly up note, if anyone should happen to care, at all, I've now decided that opening myself for the scathing wounds of critics in one creative arena isn't enough, so I've decided to start posting any short stories I write over at www.FictionPress.net. Look for JLMack, that's me. I hope to start posting some stuff up here, eventually, too, but we'll see.
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Date:January 28th, 2005 04:58 am (UTC)


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So what if you maybe got a callback because of a technicality???? It's what you did with that opportunity that counts and you did a fantastic job! And....it was not just the makeup that you did so well, but the personality that you put into the character that really counted. So, DO NOT sell yourself short. Acting....like sports...or most anything else in life requires you to hang yourself out there to be judged, and it will not always seem fair, because we are after all....dealing with humans (no Gandolf the Greys out there to even things out). It's tough but you can and will persevere. You will find your way and whether you become an award winning actress, playwright or author is not the question....it is when. So....in the meantime....you pay your dues...like so many before you and so many who will follow and enjoy the process....okay??!!! Sometimes..no matter how hard you try..the people that are in the power positions overlook your efforts. I always thought Jarrod had lots of potential in high school for basketball. There were times he could sink threes and make it look effortless however, he was not one of the coaches "favorites", so was never given the extra attention to develop his talents. One game in particular stands out in my memory as an example of someone in power, not using their common sense. I was unable to go to the out-of-town game so instead followed the play by play on the radio with great interest and.... frustration. Goodland was behind in a major tournament, the first team unable to do anything right the whole evening. Never the less, the coach refused to put in the kids sitting on the bench to, if nothing else, gain some experience. Oh no!!! If the first team couldn't handle the opponent then there was simply no use putting in the other kids. I was soooooo angry! I knew that Jarrod had it in him to help the team but he sat the bench until the last three minutes of the game when coach finally relented and let Jarrod check into the game. My first thought when I heard the announcement on the radio was utter disgust! To offer three minutes to a kid who wasn't even warmed up, in a game where there was absolutely no hope, was rude. Jarrod went in, against the opponents first team, and sunk three three's right in a row in those last few minutes. I was elated! Jarrod later told me that his first thought was to tell the coach No! when he asked if he wanted to go in. He then later told me that he was so pissed that he was determined to show Hooper how wrong he was by not giving him a chance. And do you know what Hooper said to Jarrod as they were headed to the showers? He told Jarrod that if he had known that Jarrod was going to play like that he would have put him in earlier in the game!!!!! What an idiot!!!! The point is...don't let your drive to succeed be foiled by human stupidity. Keep after it....you will succeed.