Kleptollama (corellianrogue) wrote,
Kleptollama
corellianrogue

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weeeee! cold med stupor!

Okay, here by popular demand (aka, the three people who read the Iliad, abridged version)



Part 1.

Romeo: I totally need a girlfriend.

Benvolio: Dude, you suck right now.

Mercutio: UR seriously UnL33T.

Benvolio: Dude, you aren't even in this play till the party.

Mercutio: 3Y3 Kn0w. 3Y3'm ju5t 50 MuCh L33T3r than U, 3y3 d3cid3d t0 sH0w up.

Romeo: I totally need a girlfriend.

Part 2.*partying*

Mercutio: w00t!!

Benvolio: Okay, Romeo. Have fun. I'll be over there getting some from the maid.

Romeo: I totally need a girlfr- Wait! Wha-?!

Juliet: *flounce*

Romeo: dude....

Part 3.

Juliet: Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo.

Romeo: I'm right in front of you.

Juliet: Oh, yeah.

*clock ticking*

Romeo: So... um... yeah...

*mad tearing of clothes*

*scene edited for content*

Part 4.

Tybalt: Romeo! I'm calling you out, homes.

Mercutio: Th4t is t3h unL33T.

Romeo: Chill out, T.

Tybalt: Aaaaaaaaaaarghhhh!!!!!

Benvolio: Screw you guys, I'm going home.

Mercutio: *d34th*

Benvolio: uhoh

Romeo: AAAarraraaaaaaargh!!!!

Tybalt: *death*

Benvolio: Romeo... you're screwed

*much fleeing*

Part 5.

Juliet: *cries*

Friar: Don't worry. You won't really be dead. And plans where we don't tell anybody what's going on, just hope for the best always work out, right?

Juliet: *cries*

Part 6.

Prince guy: *death*

Romeo: *sneakysneaky* Crap, she's dead.

Friar: *sneakysneaky*

Romeo: *death*

Friar:...uhoh

Juliet: *awake* Hey, where's Romeo?

Friar:...shoot...

Juliet: *death*

*death for everyone*

*except Benvolio, cause he's cool*

EL FIN!

I'm sorry, I don't know what happened there. And I really don't know why Mercutio became a L33Tm45t3r. It just seemed right that way.

Okay, now that the silliness is out of my system, I can sleep. SLEEEEEEEP... Anyway, as I slowly go mad from the pressure, expect more such as "Hamlet, abridged" "The Bible, abridged" and even possibly "Les Miserables, abridged"
Who knows what my brain will come up with next.
Tags: writing
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