Kleptollama (corellianrogue) wrote,

Grr Argh

So, one of the VPs at work sent this out today. I just wanted to share it with you all as a shining example of something coming from someone who has never fucking worked retail.

My comments are in (italics)~

SMile & mOVE (Oh. Well, okay then. It sounds dirty to me, but whatever.)

How To Smile (It's just gas.)
Wake Up
- Engage with care and attention
Be Thankful
- The opportunity to serve is a gift (No, it's a paycheck. Unless you mean being able to stand some of these bastards without stabbing them in the neck with a pen. THAT is a gift, yeah.)
Be Approachable
- We're at each others service
Complain Less
- Being positive is more fun! (...I'm not even touching this.)
Smile, REALLY Smile
- it's where pleasantness begins

How to Move
Start Early and Go Long
-Get Lost in your service to others (That sounds like a cult, but thanks.)
Exceed Expectations
-Expect more from yourself and you'll exceed others expectations. (Y'know, the amazing lack of proof-reading in this whole thing really makes me believe in management's knowledge and caring for me.)
Have A Sense of Urgency
-Everyone's time is valuable (Yeah, tell that to the fuckers who come in at 4:59 when we close at 5:00.)
Be Resourceful & Resilient
-Results are what we are after. (Thank you for completely devaluing me as a person. Really. Love you, too.)

Smile & Move
Be A SMOVER!!! (Fuck you!)

So yeah, that's pretty much my view of things. Feel free to add your own. :D
Tags: randomness
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